10 steps to deal and heal your wounds regarding resentment (from today's Sutta discussion by Bhante Dr. Chandima)
1. Use loving-kindness (mettā)
Act with loving-kindness, speak with loving-kindness, and think with loving-kindness. When you do that you will not punish yourself by keeping you resentful.
2. Use compassion (Karuṇā)
When you are self-compassionate, you will not punish yourself by keeping you resentful.
3. Use equanimity (upekkhā)
You need to balance your life. In case you loos your balance in life, that can lead to a trigger of resentment. Therefore, stay balanced to overcome resentment.
4. Disregard the events and people which caused resentment
5. Look at the objects or people of resentment with the concept of karma
If you think of the mistreatment which they caused unintentionally, you will not likely develop resentment.
6. Acknowledge that you can not change the past
7. Recognize that you cannot bring the past into the present people whom you are with now
It is very unnecessary.
8. Use the HALT method
H stands for Hungry, A stands for Angry, L stands for Lonely and T stands for Tired. Whenever you feel there is a trigger of any of these, you can prepare to stop resentment which can arise as a result.
9. Practice cognitive-behavioral technique
For example, whenever you have thoughts about the object of resentment with your present rumination, try to bring a positive thought between them so that they will not merge to cause resentment.
10. Forgive you and others
If you cannot forgive, at least try to practice wilful or deliberate forgetfulness. When you forgive, you are not only making others comfortable but also you are bringing you the utmost peace of mind.
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Dear Dhamma Friends,
Please tune in today at 8:00pm (EST) to Paṭisota (Facebook Page) for a discussion on the Āghatavatthu Sutta (AN 10.79) by Bhante Dr. Gangodawila Chandima. https://www.facebook.com/patisotaorg/
https://suttacentral.net/an10.79/en/sujato
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May you be well and happy!
Paṭisota Team
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